1. |
January
05:19
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you strangle me to awaken me my lungs are filled with falling leaves
your car's rust and cedar dust and thick green lakes at nearly dusk
burned tongue, warm fingers spread on tabletops or your smooth skin
entwined beside the cold spot for eight months mine
the saddest thoughts on summer nights
it was our last day together but we couldn't touch each other
you read the news and I called to you
it was our last night together, in all that awful weather
I read the news, but I cried for you
it's January's even gaze, her empty nights and lonely days
the softness of sadness, of streams paused and tasks left abandoned
it's winter's gray wrath; black wrath; fallen wreaths on busy paths
waves of cars washed with salt (winter's dried up tears)
white dust of the in-between
--it's done its job, but it wasn't clean
it's done its job, but it wasn't clean
(it wasn't clean)
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2. |
Milk, Blood
03:48
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hand in glove, milk and blood
reading nothing but stars above
and I felt shut, but not enough
to close myself to everyone
and I felt love but knew too much about what I had been dreaming of
was only luck of waking up when my eyes weren’t shut
but I’m already gone, slipping throughout the space drowning in what’s not
and time is already lost, falling with the stars setting with the sun
and I’m already gone, dreaming of the space and dreaming of what’s not
and time is already lost, falling with the stars sinking when day comes
never have I had days ahead so blank to spend
there are many of your thoughts in my head
dreaming all day of the things you have said
I’m already gone, dreaming of the space drowning in what’s not
and time is already lost, falling with the stars sinking when day comes
and I know I’m already gone, sleeping through the night dreaming in the sun
and time is already gone, fading with the night and breaking with the dawn
and I found love but it cast a shadow on everything it touched
like forests at dusk or wandering into the night without the stars above
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3. |
Bones
04:13
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In the heart of almost lost I feel that I am somehow free
but in the heart of half lost days I only look and cannot speak
and quietly I slip from sight,
for all the love I’ve ever had I’ve never learned to give it right
I never learned to give it right and I still have yet to see the light
no, I never learned to give it right and I still have yet to see the light
Too light to see the darkness end and too dark to see the fall of light
Wide awake with all that’s left as shadows sink into the night
I feel the hours slipping by as I drift from room to room
to bus rides in early light to things to do to coming night
Sunk in blackest sleepless times we fade to bone as light arrives
somehow it still feels alright and somehow it still feels fine
yeah, somehow I still feel alright and somehow still I still feel fine
too light to see the darkness end and too dark to see the fall of light
bright enough to see what is left as shadows sink into the night
from his heart of half lost days will I finally let him lie in peace
or, set inside a bedside drawer with his grandmere’s dictionary,
softly slipping out of sight, forget myself inside the night
--and I thought that I did, and I guess that I have, or at least I expect no reply
but the dreams, the dreams I have, they haunt my heart and not my mind
and the dreams the dreams I had, as I saw you sink into the night
but the dreams the dreams are all we have, as we drift from each other’s minds
too light to see the dark descend and too dark to see the fall of light
and too bright to see what has ended as shadows sink into the night
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4. |
Atacama
03:44
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you are the friend more than everything I am
yore than everything it all turns to sand
you are the sky above everything most high
above all the city lights and highways
atacama, atacama, atacama
god bless your soul for everything you know
for all those years you made turn to gold
atacama, atacama, atacama
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5. |
Shadows
03:19
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every day could be so good and I’m tired of feeling so misunderstood
you must decide to turn and turn til you see the light
everything could look so nice if you just turn til you see the light
everything would be alright if you just turn til the shadow falls right
in and out like blood through the heart
from the sun’s morning rise til its noon decline
every day, for all of our lives
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6. |
Kindred Hearts
04:16
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in silent suspense if I hold my breath
might he speak in sleep my name
or if I lay resigned to rest
might I forget it anyway
for everything he’d ever say would always end before its start
and all that I had learned from him was his but also mine in part
kindred hearts: slow and warm, cold and dark
I know your wants I know your thoughts
I know I’m here I know you’re not
why does the light emerge
only when the dark hides fear
and why behind my open eyes
could I not see what lay inside
--your eyes my eyes and heavy skies,
gray and green and wintertime
darkly rimmed with heavy lids
but lighter still than what is within
kindred hearts: slow and warm, cold and dark
I know your wants I know your thoughts
I know you're here I know I'm not
I think I have thought all I can say
but in my mind the words remain
like all the things I wish I’d said
or time I spent I should have saved
and I think you know all that I don’t
but I’m sure it goes the other way
and finally I have begun to learn
what it was in me you have changed
kindred hearts: slow and warm, cold and dark
I know your wants I know your thoughts
I know I’m here I know you’re not
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7. |
Stratigraphy
04:28
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wandering door to door all night
trying everything to figure out what feels right
--dark to light
what is it winter shut me in with
what rests beneath her crystal drifts
--as darkness lifts
I bathe your bones in my tears
although you're gone you're not far from here
--after years
what is it winter shut me in with
what rests beneath her crystal drifts
--as light forgives
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8. |
Eagle
03:28
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I was sent down deeper to the layers of the keepers
who set their sights set on rain
I could hear the eagle making his sound for the people
watching them rise watching their flame
- - -
I was sent down deeper to the depths of the worlds of waves
I was sent that day, I could hear them say
- - -
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9. |
This Rosy Light
03:06
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two years it takes this rosy light to fade
the sea is finally taking me but waves they show no wake
these weeks are killing me no one but the sea can touch my heart or body
at least I no longer long for what I've left behind me
I've swum as far as my body can take
but now the waves will come to carry me away
--swept off by the tears the earth itself has made
at least I'll no longer long for what's not here today
the softness of the breeze as the green-blue crests bring me
to the gleaming light of collective memory
earthly sweet, the tomb in which my secrets sleep
my body was the grave its marker washed away
at least I'll no longer long for what's not here today
at least I can no longer long for what's longer here today
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Nighttime Los Angeles, California
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